INT. SILVER LANCE PRODUCTIONS - DAY
Wayne enters a corridor and before reaching a door at the end
of it turns to talk to a SECRETARY.
WAYNE
Hi, Janelle. Is Lance...
The secretary is slumped over her desk, either dead or
asleep.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
Janelle?
He gently prods her. She comes to life.
JANELLE
Uhhh...uhhh...oh...no more Mojito,
Felipe, no mas, por favor...
She collapses on her keyboard. Her PC starts BEEPING.
Wayne gingerly moves her off the keyboard. She doesn't stir.
WAYNE
Okay. Ah, I'll go right in, then.
He turns and knocks on a large door.
LANCE (O.S.)
Enter!
INT. SILVER LANCE PRODUCTIONS - OFFICE - DAY
Wayne enters the immense, tasteless office of LANCE
SILVERBERG, the company's lead pornographer. He is a nerdy
middle-aged Jew dressed in flashy clothes and obscene
jewelry. He sits at a massive desk. On a nearby couch sit two
young male INTERNS. Both are reading fashion magazines.
LANCE
Wayne. Dude. What up?
WAYNE
Hi Lance. Ah...can I have a seat?
LANCE
Fuck yeah. You're not here to ask
for more hours, are you?
Wayne takes a seat in one of two chairs in front of the desk.
WAYNE
No.
LANCE
Sweet. Want a cigar? Or a Valium?
WAYNE
I'm okay, thanks. Um, what I wanted
to ask was...ah, remember once you
told me you wanted to do other
types of movies besides porno?
LANCE
Are there other types of movies?
A beat.
LANCE (CONT'D)
Just kiddin', bro. Yeah,
diversification. Everybody and his
brother is making pornos these
days. It's that fuckin' YouTube.
There is no true quality anymore.
The amateurs are taking over.
(flipping the bird)
YouSuck, YouBastard. How about
that?
WAYNE
Yeah. Well, we were thinking - my
friend and I - um, we have some
ideas for movies. Projects you
could shoot cheaply. See, he's an
actor and as you know I'm a--
LANCE
Dude. That could work. What kinda
movies?
WAYNE
Well, as I've told you I have a few
scripts in development--
LANCE
Fuck me. You're not talking about
that ET meets High Noon thing in
China, are you?
WAYNE
Not necessarily. That's just one
of...several projects I have.
There's also this medical
drama...well, it's more a thriller.
Think Coma meets Saw. Psycho
doctors, scary pharmaceuticals...
LANCE
Sexy nurses?
WAYNE
Sure.
LANCE
Any nudity?
WAYNE
Plenty.
LANCE
Blood?
WAYNE
Gallons. If not barrels.
LANCE
Sweet. Tell ya what, bro, let me do
a little market research on that
one.
(to the interns)
Guys?
No answer.
LANCE (CONT'D)
Guys!
INTERN #1
What? We're busy.
LANCE
I need some market research on
medical thrillers. Can you do that?
INTERN #1
Nope.
INTERN #2
Don't think so.
LANCE
Come on, please? That's why you're
here.
INTERN #1
Not in the job description.
INTERN #2
Got other things to do.
LANCE
Hook me up, homies, and I'll get ya
some nice Asian fuck bunnies. The
ones from "Desperate Cheerleaders".
INTERN #1
I'm gay.
INTERN #2
Mebbe. I'll think about it.
LANCE
(back to Wayne)
Alright, fuck the market research.
Just write up a synopsis for me and
maybe film a scene with your
friend. Like a screen test.
WAYNE
Sure. We can do that. I'll bring
both into work on Monday.
LANCE
Alright. Sweet. Anything else? You
sure you don't want some pills?
WAYNE
No, I need to get back to work. My
shift ends at 7.
He stands to leave.
LANCE
Right on, homes. You know, you
should come up to visit more. I
like talking to my peeps.
WAYNE
Yeah, will do. So, Monday with the
synopsis and the screen test.
Lance nods and extends his fist. Wayne clumsily meets it with
his own. He exits the office.
