INT. NORTH HOLLYWOOD CONDO - DAY
Bobby is nearly comatose on the couch. He's sleeping fully
dressed and his shoes are on. Next to him is a WGA strike sign. Not
far away is his suitcase, unopened and still wearing the
airport luggage tag.
A clock ALARM RINGS in the upstairs bedroom. It doesn't stop.
Bobby continues to sleep.
Upstairs, Wayne GRUNTS awake then issues a CAVEMAN YELL at
the offending clock.
Bobby is unaffected.
WAYNE (O.S.)
Clock damn butt ugly son of a bitch
mother...frickin'...
An OBJECT IS THROWN AT THE CLOCK. Apparently it's a miss,
because SOMETHING FALLS AND BREAKS while the alarm WHINES
AWAY.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
I hate you! Shut up!
Bobby dozes peacefully.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
Take care of you...
Another OBJECT IS THROWN AT THE CLOCK and the alarm stops
ringing. It also FALLS TO THE FLOOR AND BREAKS INTO SEVERAL
PIECES. Some other object DROPS AND BOUNCES ACROSS THE ROOM.
A moment later, something large and heavy also FALLS ON THE
GROUND.
This jolts Bobby awake.
BOBBY
Dad? Where's my pinata?
He blearily looks around; it takes him a second to figure out
where and in what decade he is.
WAYNE (O.S.)
Ah, shit, not the bookshelf.
BOBBY
(calling upstairs)
Wayne?
WAYNE (O.S.)
Yeh, Bob.
BOBBY
You okay, man?
WAYNE (O.S.)
I'm fine, I'm fine. Just dealing
with some furniture issues.
BOBBY
Oh.
His eyelids get heavier and he nods to sleep again.
Upstairs, a LARGE PIECE OF FURNITURE IS PUSHED CLUMSILY
ACROSS THE ROOM. It SLAMS INTO PLACE AGAINST A WALL.
Bobby wakes up. Looking around, he realizes his location
hasn't changed.
After a beat or so Wayne, hair mussed, dressed in pajamas,
emerges at the top of the stairs and descends into the lower
part of the condo.
WAYNE
Man, I hate waking up. Good
morning. How did you sleep?
BOBBY
Uh, okay. I think I'm still
unconscious.
With his eyes one-quarter open, he looks it.
WAYNE
Sorry about the noise. Frickin'
alarm clock. Maybe I shouldn't have
put it across the room. Good thing
I don't have to worry about it
anymore.
Wayne exits the frame to enter the kitchen.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
You want fried eggs? Or maybe a
leftover Slurpee?
BOBBY
Nah, I...
Big yawn.
BOBBY (CONT'D)
Mmmmffff, ahhh...
WAYNE
Toast? I can make some toast.
Forgot to buy butter, though.
You'll have to eat it dry.
Bobby nods.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
I planned the full tour for you
today, buddy. A visit to the Third
Circle of Hell, otherwise known as
the LA metropolitan area. Beverly
Hills, Santa Monica and the beach,
Malibu...
Bobby drifts off to sleep again.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
...Hollywood Boulevard. No work
until tomorrow for me, so I can
show you the town and we can talk
strategy. How we can carve out
careers in this town, you and me,
Stud Actor and Witty Writer.
Bobby has slipped back into his coma.
LIQUID POURS INTO A GLASS in the kitchen.
Wayne enters the frame with a pint of orange juice.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
It's a tough market in this town, but
opportunity is out there
somewhere. We just have to figure
out how to grab it. Grab it, I say!
Wayne finally notices that Bobby is asleep as he sets the
orange juice down on the table in front of his friend.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
Bobby?
WAYNE (CONT'D)
Bob-by!
No answer. Wayne CLAPS HIS HANDS LOUDLY. Bobby wakes.
BOBBY
Agghhh...huh?
WAYNE
A beverage for you. Cliff's Notes
version: I'm taking you on a ride
around town.
BOBBY
Yah. Super.
WAYNE
Drink your juice. You need citrus
energy, vitamin C. We'll be out for
a few hours.
BOBBY
Great.
Wayne returns to the kitchen and Bobby drinks his juice,
realizing in the process that he's nearly dehydrated. He
greedily sucks down the rest of the beverage.
WAYNE (O.S.)
Also. We need to start making
friends, contacts in the business.
That's the only way we're gonna get
work.
The toaster POPS.
Bobby's eyes droop yet again. He falls asleep.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
Oh. I do have some cream cheese I
got on the strike line the other
day. You want that with your toast?
No answer from dozing Bobby.
WAYNE (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Nah, forget it. It was out in the
sun, I'm sure it's rotten. Or at
least unacceptably crusty. Two
pieces of desert-dry white toast,
comin' up.
Wayne enters the living room again, fails to notice Bobby
sleeping even as he delivers the toast.
WAYNE (CONT'D)
Gotta get a new alarm clock while
we're out, please don't let me
forget. Meanwhile, eat up while I
take a shower. Your new life begins
today, Bob. Your new life.
Wayne exits the frame.
Bobby starts snoring.
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